Fishy Jokes

Some of these are so bad they're good! Others .... well, they're just bad! Do you have any trouty (even fishy!) jokes to add to our web-list?

Email us at jokes@britishtrout.co.uk and we will reward you with a special edition trouty pencil. In the meantime .....


Why are fish so smart?

- Because they live in schools.


What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

- Dam!


How do you talk to a trout?

- You don't: you drop him a line!


Where do little fishes go every morning?

- To plaice school!

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?

- Monkfish!

Why is a fish easy to weigh?

- Because it has its own scales!


What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

- A flat fish!


What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?

- I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!


Where do you weigh whales?

- At a whale weigh station!


What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?

- A beer-a-cuda!


What do you call a fish with no eyes?

- Fsh!


What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

- You can't tuna fish!


Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?

- Because they dropped out of school!

British Trout Association, The Rural Centre, West Mains, Ingliston EH28 8NZ
Tel: 0131 472 4080    Fax: 0131 472 4083     E-mail: mail@britishtrout.co.uk